I’m really starting to hate myself… seriously. Why can’t I just keep myself occupied 24/7!? I mean, goshhh, I think/talk about him all the time; and because of that I just get so sad. Everything reminds me of him. Everywhere I go -my house, menominee itself reminds me of him, and my aunt’s house. (And my aunt’s house used to be a place where I can go and just forget because it’s an hour away and just far away… but I brought him here so now, that’s ruined.) Every song I listen to -even fast ones. Even my laptop reminds me of him… :29: Grr, I really didn’t think it can be this hard.

Or am I just overreacting? (Over thinking things?) I want to stop but really… I can’t. It’s like once I get on my own, in my own little world, it’s all him that’s in it. And to tell you the truth, it hurts… Just thinking about not seeing him for the longest time sucks. Sucks too that I don’t have a phone so I can’t contact him whatsoever. Its like I don’t know what to do, but wait…

I just really hope he wants this as much as I do. (To be in this relationship *long distance* I mean.) I’m just gonna suck it up for now I suppose. <3

PS: I forgot to mention… at the picnic, everyone was asking me, “Where’s your bf?” And of course I have to answer, “He left for college yesterday.” Then they go, “Awww, what’s he majoring in?” Or “Where’s he going?” Or “When are you guys gonna see each other again?” // And all that… I probably had that same conversation with at least 7 people today at the picnic. My gosh…